June 17th, 2009 
jwarren I woke up this morning thinking about cancer and it was on my mind all day. I couldn’t help it! I had a chemical burn on the left side of my tongue this morning, and my first thought was, “Oh, crap! I fell asleep with my trays in my mouth!”
Because of all the radiation I had in my jaw and neck, my teeth are more susceptible to decay and, to protect them, I have to use trays filled with fluoride each evening. Last night I was so exhausted I fell asleep with my trays in my mouth. Fluoride is caustic, and when I woke up this morning, I had a chemical burn on my tongue. The burn was there the entire day; a lingering reminder of cancer and cancer treatment. Seems a bit ironic I’d have something like this happen when I’m on the Ride From Reno for Huntsman Cancer Institute.
If you’ve read Taylor’s, Mike’s, Larry’s, or Don’s posts you already know today was a butt-kicker. As if >130 miles in the saddle isn’t enough, the wind was relentless, the rain was soaking and chilling, the climbing excruciatingly painful; pretty much a complete sufferfest.
Given the choice, however, of doing what I did today versus spending time doing cancer treatment in a radiation vault, surgical suite, or infusion center, I’ll take the sufferfest any day. You see, when I’m on the bike I’m in control. I say how much it hurts, how long it hurts, when the pain starts and when it ends. With cancer, I felt completely out of control almost from the moment of diagnosis. Before my diagnosis I was a bit of a Type A personality, and had control of most everything in my life. Suddenly a mutant cell I couldn’t even see took control! I couldn’t work, and my life was taken over by cancer and cancer treatment. It’s all I thought about day and night.
It’s the seemingly little things cancer takes away that, cumulatively, add up to extremely difficult changes in life and a loss of control. Little things like not having the strength to open a jar or pull the starter cord on the snowblower or lawnmower. Not being able to lift a sack of salt for the water softener. Not having the strength to walk from a parking lot into an office building. Not being able to swallow or speak. Cancer is responsible for this and so much more.
When I talked with Sheri yesterday, she told me about not having the strength or stamina to cook, or do the laundry. Things we all take for granted. But when those things are taken from us involuntarily, it’s a sobering reminder of the power of this damnable disease.
So we need to do all we can to find better tolerated, less toxic treatments for cancer. If you haven’t yet made a donation to Huntsman Cancer Institute, please see the “How to Contribute” tab on this website and then send a generous donation to HCI.
Together we can make a difference.
Jeff
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